My hand turned me down
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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