It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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