She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
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you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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