My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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