I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
