If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
