whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
