I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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