can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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