so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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