Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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