You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
