i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
