Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
