Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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