I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize