just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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