At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
