You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize