Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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