Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
