there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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