O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize