i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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