Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
