gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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