That's intense
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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