So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
