I want to walk on stilts...naked
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
