i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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