i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
