Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize