He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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