You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
