You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude i'm inner monologue high
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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