bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
