mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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