Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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