he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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