she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize