...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
