good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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