guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize