Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
