whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
