dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
