David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
