one might say we're banned from that church
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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