He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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