I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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