You're so nebulous sometimes
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
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It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You ruined the universe
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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