my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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