Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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