Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
