Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
