I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
