also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
